blah...

So, i don't really even know. I guess I just have a lot of thoughts and feelings swimming around up in my head right now, and I need somewhere to empty them.

To be honest, right now, I don't know how I feel. Disappointment maybe? But, it sorta feels like I am disappointed with where God has me at right now... maybe that is it. I don't know.

I am not disappointed with God in the sense that I don't trust His plan...

I guess I am just impatient. I want certain things on my timeline and in my way... and it isn't happening. And, I guess... I am just disappointed.

Maybe it is just a good case of the comparisons....

"well, if I had job at a place I liked..."

or

"if I had someone who even showed an interest in me..."

or

"if i was as cute or as skinny or as outgoing as so and so..."

BUT, that isn't how life works.

Just feeling blue with where I am at. A job that I don't love, some days don't even like. Life full of friends, but yet, sometimes I still feel lonely. So, all in all, today is just a day I feel disappointed with where I am at right now.

I must say though, I have never been good at being content with what I have and being patient with God's plan. I do trust that He has something bigger and better for me than where I am at right now. Somedays it just doesn't feel like it.

And, today is one of those days. I have shared this with God... I feel you have to be honest with Him. And, now, I just need to empty my head some more... and you all are the lucky recipients.

So... yea... blah.