Reconsidered...

Well Ladies and Gentlemen, I was going to write to you this morning about how frigidly cold my office is, and how it isn't even winter yet. But, nope. Not today. Instead, let me lead you down another path.

I opened up my blog, and rather than immediately go to writing, I instead decided to pursue some of my favorites (see the list to your right). And it led me to one of my favorite blogs, Bring the Rain. Click here for the article that changed me day.

Angie is the mom of five wonderful children, two who have already be called back into God's arms. She has chosen her blog as one way to grieve and in the grief minister to others out there, whether they have been through such a loss or not. And it has many times over ministered to me.

Today she wrote about one of her precious daughters, Ellie, the mother hen as Angie has dubbed her. Ellie sounds like a delight. A little girl that in some ways reminds me of myself. I wasn't a scaredy cat as a child, but I was definitely a timid child. I would talk to adults, as along as I knew exactly where mom and dad were standing. I would try things, but probably after a little coaxing. I have vivid memories of being terrified to try new roller coasters, and especially of having to ride my first roller coaster, the Big Bad Wolf. Seriously... I can remember the knots in my stomach, the inability to breath as I stepped into the cart, the desire to get out as soon as the restraint was locked. But I did it. I was determined to ride. And I can also remember how much I loved that first ride, how excited I was to get on it again and again, and to try another roller coaster, then another, and another.

Have you noticed how riding a roller coaster is never the same after the first time. It is always still enjoyable, but never quite the same? you never get quite as scared? never feel that determination you felt the first time? Maybe that is way they have to keep building bigger and better ones, to continue to scare us into enjoyment.

But that is a digression. Angie, in her post talks about how Ellie had this moment of determination to ride this ride, even if she was scared. And how this moment, with of course great pictures, reminded Angie of her own determination to follow Christ and the freedom He brings us.

Man, did that hit home. I have yet to share my testimony with all of you, blog-world, but I do intend to one of these days. I can't tell you how many times since that Early Winter of 2002 that I have had to literally decide to believe God and His Word over what I wanted to believe. How about an example?

During my Freshman year, I can vividly remember having this conversation with my now best friend, Jenn (who God has used tremendously in my life). We were talking about who we would consider marrying. She said, "well, whoever I marry has to be a Christian." And I said, "well, I wouldn't mind if he wasn't. I mean, as long as he respects me and my beliefs." And she looked at me like I had ten heads. So, I asked her, "Why does he have to be a Christian?" And we talked for a long time about being equally yoked, what the Bible says, etc. And I remember that evening talking to God and saying... "ok, I don't get it. I don't get why the man I marry has to be a Christian, but I am going to trust Your Word..." It has been amazing how God has worked in that decision, shown me relationships that have been disasters and mainly because of the fact that they don't share the most important thing, the love of Christ. It is amazing how God works when you let Him in.

I'll tell my testimony in more detail later... but I do remember the day I became a Christian. It was in the car with my friend Sarah. We were talking about the hypocrisy in the church and how disappointed we were with it. We were talking about all the "leaps of faith" you have to take if you believe in Christ. How could someone be fully God and fully man? How do we even know the Bible is true? Oh, there are so many. BUT, I finally said to Sarah, and more importantly, to God, "I don't care if I ever know these answers. And it sucks the church is full of fallen and sinful people. But I am choosing God. I am choosing Christ. From here on out, I walk according to the scriptures. From here on out, I follow Christ and what He has for me."

It was a scary moment and can still be scary at times. But I have never regretted that decision. I love the adventures God has taken me on. I hope that people can see the same expression of joy Ellie had on her face in mine. It is joy that is unexplainable, except to tell you it is God given.

Thanks Angie for sharing your story, it has been a good reminder of why I also chose to believe and why I walk with determination each and every day towards Christ.