It is inevitable being single, in a Singles Ministry, that I talk about dating and relationships. If you thought you talked about the topic a lot in college- it is nothing compared to how much we talk about it in a Singles Ministry.
And it makes sense. We are in a pressure cooker (umm, hello, you talk to a boy for more than 5 seconds and everyone's eyes are on you). At this point in our lives, most of us in that ministry want to be married.
So this leads to not surprising fact that when I see a dating article on msn.com or some other news feed, I normally read it. They are normally written from a worldly perspective, but sometimes still have some good insight.
I recently ran across two articles (Article 1 here and Article 2 here) and wanted to share my random thoughts on them with you.
Article 1:
Ok, the second paragraph... definitely my favorite:
"After years alone, on the cusp of my 35th birthday, I was serious. I'd learned that letting myself kiss the wrong guy set in motion a sort of unwitting hormonal bonding stronger than rational thinking. If I was going to meet the right man, I decided, I needed to remain chemical-free, to think clearly, to get to know him first."
I think all non-Christians (and, well Christians,too!) should take note. And is probably one of the best reasons I have heard as to why you shouldn't get physical while dating. Yes, the bible commanding it is the best reason, but for those who don't believe the bible- this is a very strong argument!
Overall, I don't know if I could do 100 dates in 6 months. But it seems to make sense in some ways. If you aren't meeting new people then you can't find "the one." As well, if you let your emotions (due to lust) do all of the talking, then you may miss the one who should have deserved a second date. And finally- the being honest with people as to why or why not you are going on a date with them. Most guys I have ever talked to would rather be told "no" right away than have even one pity date.
Article 2:
Ok, as a warning- this is just more of a reaction to the idea of "giving a guy a chance" idea than the whole article.
I agree with the "give a guy a chance" idea. Most guys do fall into that "maybe" boat rather than the "I have a crush on him" boat or the "absolutely no way" boat. Most of my "maybe" guys are my friends. Just haven't really thought of them as more than that. So, I would probably say yes.
But here is my issue. Are guys told to give the girls in the "friend" or "maybe" boat a chance? I personally don't think they are. But, how is that fair? However, my roommate did have a good point last night. Girls and Guys have different friend boats, and different ways of approaching them. AND, it is possible that a girl is getting a "chance" and we just don't know it.
However, this article leads me down a different road. What about the boys who are in the "no" boat? I have a couple of guys who I am friends with and they are really just in the "no" boat. Girls, if they were to ask you to coffee, do you say "yes" because you should give everyone a chance? Or do you answer honestly? (like the girl in the first article learned is the best way to go). It could be freeing, but it could also really hurt the guy. I don't know... I think honesty is the best policy. I just pray if I have a guy in the "no" boat and God wants differently then He will change my heart. Until then... if he is in the "no" boat, but honest with him. I think a pity date is worse than a no to a date.
Let me know what you think!
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