Song of the Day: 4 Minutes by Madonna feat Justin Timberlake

So, I love music. This is probably no lie. It is safe to say that I almost always have music playing in my office, my car, my room.

Anyway, I thought from time to time I would share with you all songs, or at least lyrics from songs that have me thinking... and/or dancing to (really, if I can move to a song, then I like it).

Today's song for thought is the new Madonna feat. Justin Timberlake song entitled, "4 Minutes."

Here are the lyrics that stood out to me the first time I heard the song:

"(Madonna:) The road to hell is paved with good intentions, yeah
(Justin:) But if I die tonight At least I can say I did what I wanted to do Tell me, how bout you?"

So, my food for thought is how true... most of this world, or at least this country, is heading to hell, eternal separation from God because they think they will get there by doing good things... their good intentions.

And then, Justin's response in the song... "But if I die tonight at least I can say I did what I wanted to do..."

Whoa, and isn't that most of this country's respons?:. "Well, I don't care if I am separated from God forever because I want to do what I want to now." Man, that just saddens me. We run from the truth because we think the world here is somehow better... or that God is somehow limiting us if we follow Him. What a limited view of God we have here on Earth. And it is so misrepresented... makes me wonder what else people who don't know Christ are misunderstanding and how else they are choosing to turn their back on Him...

Ok, well, that is my food for thought today. I'll share more as I think of them/run across them.

Here's a fun meme to do with flickr photos:

1. Name: Jaye

2. Favorite food: Papa John's Pizza

3. High school you attended: Cox High School

4. Favorite color: Cerulean

5. Celebrity crush: Michael Vartan

6. Favorite drink: Coca Cola

7. Dream vacation: Little Sable Point, MI

8. Favorite dessert: Ice cream

9. What I want to be when I grow up: A mommy

10. What do you love most in life: Jesus

11. One word to describe you: Organized

12. Flickr name: pajamachief

Here's how you play:Open three windows. One with the list of questions, another open to Flickr and ready to do an image search, and a third to Big Huge Labs' Mosaic Maker (create a mosaic with four columns and three rows). Answer the first question, put your answer in the search field on Flickr and choose one of the images from the first page to represent your answer. Click on the photo then copy and paste the url into the first spot on the Mosaic Maker. Do that for all 12 questions, then click create and post the results to your blog. Sweet, eh?

Credit for the pictures:
1. Jaye, 2. Papa John's Peru, 3. Good Shoes, 4. Cerulean Curves, 5. michael vartan, 6. I'm a Mexican Coke, 7. Little Sable Point Lighthouse 0920, 8. homemade berry ice cream, 9. Fun Pic from Mary: Kid says the darnest thing, 10. Life Passes By, 11. a bit of a mess, 12. 222/365 tv toes

Bad Mood

Today I am in a funk. I think it is because I am just tired and wearing myself thin this week. See people, this is why I am an introvert. No one believes me... but here is why. Because when I am faced with weeks like this one I crave being alone and just want to crawl into bed and pull the covers over my head.

My week has been crazy. My weekend a couple of days ago was crazy. This weekend is going to be crazy. And all of this is a good thing. I LOVED hanging out with people this past weekend; loved dinner with the girls on Friday night, loved the Bulls game on Saturday night... just makes it so I don't get any rest. Work has been nut-so and so i just feel overwhelmed and need to rejuvenate, and can't.

However, I am excited for Caswell this weekend :-). Friday I am heading to camping at Carolina Beach with the girls. And then Caswell Beach Retreat all weekend. :-) :-) :-)!!!

But, with all of this going on I have just noticed how bad of a mood I am in. I want to complain about everything. Complain about stupid Hilary. Just drop out of the race already. Your stubbornness is just making you look worse. I guarantee the only people excited about you staying at this point are Republicans who want this chaos to continue. Complain about oil companies and how they are currently rolling in more money than they know what to do with; what they really should be doing instead of giving all the money to the shareholders is figure out how to make gas prices go down. Ok government, now is the time to step in and change this. Monopoly? put a cap on how much the earn? i don't know, just do something before my budget is only gas and I have to starve myself to survive. Complain about things at my job that are just giving me a headache. Complain about the state of my room, the lack of time I have, etc.

Bummer. I am just praying that God would first give me rest and second to remind me to praise Him before I complain. He is in control. None of this stuff matters in the grand scheme of things anyway.

Hope you day is well! Pray that my attitude changes. I want to enjoy today.

a Quiz because it is late...

Have lots of things to say, but too late to really attempt to actually write it. So, a quiz instead.

1) What was I doing 10 yrs ago?

May of 1998? how old was I? 14... so that puts me at the end of 8th grade; probably enjoying my friends, getting ready for the end of middle school and preparing for the vast new world of High School...

2) What are 5 things on my to-do list for today (not in any particular order):

We'll do this for tomorrow, since it is midnight now...

1. work at the NBC Health and Fitness Fair
2. grocery shopping (its in dire need)
3. change the cat litter
4. Durham Bulls Game with friends
5. enjoy the day!
   

3) Snacks I enjoy:

so many, but I really like sweets. Sweet 'n sour gummy worms, Cinnamon Buns Ice Cream from Ben and Jerry's,

4) Things I would do if I were a billionaire:

1. Pray like crazy…That’s a lot of responsibility
2. Pay off my debt (car, credit)
3. Pay off my parent's debt (house)
4. Give to charities, oversees and here in America
5. Quit my job and start some sort of non profit, probably with children and helping to rehabilitate moms who need to get back on their feet
6. Save the rest and live off the interest
   

5) Three of my bad habits:

Only three? I have many...

1. buying music off of iTunes that I can't afford
2. not being disciplined when I should be in bed
3. wasting time that could be spent loving people, or at least more wisely
   

6) 5 places I have lived:

1. Virginia Beach, VA
2. Ann Arbor, MI
3. Durham, NC
4. Raleigh, NC
5. ??? who knows where God may send me!
   

7) 5 jobs I have had: (there is a related meme in the on-deck circle)

1. Chick fil a
2. Taste Unlimited
3. Temp
4. Cafeteria at Couzens and South Quad
5. Workstudy in Psych Undergrad Office
6. Grants Assistant at Duke
7. Membership Director at Girl Scouts- NC Coastal Pines
   

God is working...

So, I am not one of those "God did this natural disaster because those people deserved it" Christians. I am, however, one of those "God allowed this to happen for a reason" Christian.

I look at the cyclone in Myanmar and now the earthquake in China as God shaking that part of the world so that they are ready to hear His Good News. But it is just so sad. So many have to lose their lives in these crazy natural disasters. I just pray for them, their families. I pray that God will have good done despite all the sadness and devastation.

Random thoughts...

... I so voted today in the primary here in North Carolina. Kind of felt cool... like it was important. Maybe it is, maybe it isn't. Still, I did it!

... yesterday as I was driving to work I pulled up to a guy in his Aztec or something SUV-like. He had his windows down and out was hanging his hand with his cigarette. It took all of me not to role down my window and SARCASTICALLY tell him how cool his was. And the proceed to tell him was going to die someday from smoking. But I didn't, I am not that brave.

... tomorrow we have an all day staff meeting. not too excited about it. we have to ride three hours just to get there, eat lunch, and bowl. yippeee!

... Ross (my brother) graduates this weekend. I am soooo excited for him. :-)!!! Not to mention proud of my little (ok, not so little, younger) brother.

Changing Tune

There was a point in time where I like McCain; I could have dealt with him in office. Now, I am not so sure.

Why did I like him?

Because he seemed moderate. He seemed reasonable... like he was ok with not being straight Republican.

But now, McCain has gone all Bush on us, and I am not so sure anymore.

Here is an article that shows once again, McCain is flip-flopping.

What am I going to do if the tickets are McCain and Clintion? Vote third party? Abstain from voting? Move to Canada? Tell me people, what am I to do?

voting pro-choice doesn't mean your pro-death!

Thank you! Read this article... ok?!?!

So, election years might be what my nightmares are made of.

First of all, with this primary season the election stuff starts a good year before hand.

Secondly, I could probably recite to you each and every candidates ad. I do not want to see one more ad. Too bad its April and the election isn't until November.

And, finally... anyone else notice how much division an election, or politics for that matter, can cause? I am a Christian. I am a liberal.

GASP!

Yes, you can be a Christian and a liberal. Not all Christians vote Republican.

Again, GASP!

However, I am tired of people being closed-minded and attacking me for it.

Ok, not a sarcastic one... for real GASP!

Yes, I have had brothers and sisters not listen to me and my reasons for voting one way or why I stand where I do on politics. Instead they try to make me feel stupid, make me feel like I am not a Christian for my views, etc. They attack me (to quote one, "I do not think you can be a Christian and a Democrat at the same time.")

Well, here is a news flash. God isn't a Republican. He is also not a Democrat. In fact, I am pretty sure He is anti our laws and government. He wishes for us to be blameless and to be perfect. Except, we screwed that up at the Fall of man in the Garden of Eden. So instead we have man made laws that are supposed to help regulate morality and keep chaos from reigning here on Earth.

So, while I want morality to be regulated, we have to realize that you can't hold those who do not agree with you to the same standards. If someone doesn't see sleeping around as wrong, how can you expect them to view things like abortion as wrong? They are blinded to the Truth people!

Also, on the note of our political parties. Neither one is perfect. Ummm, Republicans, what about helping out those once they are born (ahem, read the article)? Ummm, Democrats, no matter what you say, you are killing a life with abortion.

So, now, friends who are Republican and see me as evil for not voting Republican... please respect my decision. I respect yours and do not attack you for not loving the lost and the least by not providing them with health care or food. Please do not attack me for my parties decision to be pro-choice (which isn't pro-death, but the right for a woman to choose what to do to her body), or for their stance against the war in Iraq. Ok... just respect me as a sister in Christ.

Now, I leave you with one quote from the article that I think is quite convicting. It is convicting to me as a Christian, not as a Democrat... so I hope it is convicting for each one of you.

Speaking at Wheaton College, Tony Campolo once had great opposition to his words (which have been quoted various times, various ways, with the meaning still valid), “I have three things I’d like to say today. First, while you were sleeping last night, 30,000 kids died of starvation or diseases related to malnutrition. Second, most of you don’t give a shit. What’s worse is that you’re more upset with the fact that I said shit than the fact that 30,000 kids died last night.”

Mortification

So, I don't just get embarassed. I get mortified.

And normally, it isn't being in front of people that bother me. I can talk in front of groups. Easy.

Its when i feel that I have made some sort of social flub that I get MORTIFIED!!!

Recently felt this... and every time I think about the situation (and no you don't get to know), I just clamp up. My heart beats fast... my stomach drops... and I feel my face turn red. Why? I don't know.

Its always been this way, but just have had a rash outbreak of mortifying situations recently so its been on my mind. Maybe one day I won't care.

HA!

Me = Selfish!

I have recently had this revelation that I am so selfish.

Whether or not you believe me, I am very shy and self-conscious. And I have turned this into a very selfish thing.

When i talk to someone, especially someone i don't know, I have turned it into: "Oh, I just said something really stupid." "Look how awkward this is, they must not like me." etc... I do this rather than focusing on what the person is saying, and in turn learning about them and sharing their life with them.

I don't give my time as freely as I should. I want my alone time (I need it to be energized), but in turn if I have a busy week I just choose not to be with others. For instance, last week I had to work three evenings. I had a friend who needed to talk to someone. I knew this, but rather than take my one night off to spend it with her, I just stayed at home "because I really needed it." Umm... wrong choice, I am afraid to say.

I am selfish with my time and God. Rather than sacrifice, I just don't spend time with Him.

Why am I so self-centered?

I pray that God continues to convict me of this and shows me ways that I need to be pouring out and into others.

Laughter

This one makes me laugh every time I see it...

A Game...

This post says do it for charity...

I also say it would be a good drinking game.

Either way (not that I would actually participate in a drinking game... you all know me better than that!), it would give you another excuse to watch American Idol. Come on, you have to admit you love the show!

Read the post here.

Violence

Article here.

I don't get terrorism at all... or even violence as a statement.

Take this group... the Environmental Liberation Front, or ELF. They burn down houses they don't think are built green... or university buildings that are supposedly genetically engineering trees.

Why? Does it really make that much of a statement? Does violence and terrorism really work the way it is supposed to? Does it really change minds and make others convert to your ideals? Will it suddenly make people change their ways?

From my observations, it doesn't.

McMansions are still going up. And you buring houses down only makes me think you are crazy and belong in jail.

People, violence doesn't get you anywhere. And I know there are revoluntions that are bloody and people are liberated... but I still don't know if war is the best answer. Ever. Sorry... call me a liberal, call me a hippy, but I won't change my mind.

I used to read all the time...

I love to read. When I was a child, it was all you could do not to rip the book out of my hand. I just read and read and read.

My "toy bag" when we went on vacation had a doll, some office supplies and as many books as I could stuff in there.

When i went to the library, i checked out the maximum number of books that you could. 15 if I remember correctly...

In fifth grade, math bored me and my teacher recognized I could already do most of it. So, she let me read in math class. I sat in the back and read books. And in case this makes you doubt my math skills, I can add, subtract, multiply and divide. I loved geometry... passed Calculus, etc. I just prefer to read. The only thing I am not too good at is spelling. Spell check is my best friend.

But, what happened? I feel like I hardly read anymore. My goal is to read more! I love it... seeing the characters, getting to know them. all of it... so help me read more. Ask me what I am reading and if I have read today.

Anyway, I thought this was a cool idea... stole it from Burnside Writer's Blog:

One book that changed my life: Bible... but's lets steer clear of the Christianese answers. Little Women by Louisa May Alcott. It proved to me that I could read things besides the Babysitters Club. Or, The Tomptom and the Fox. It's a kids book and I used to have my parent's read it to me over and over again as a toddler. I guess it was my first obsession and gave me my passion to read.

One book that I've read more than once: Any of the Harry Potter series. Or Little Women... and Practical Magic. I could pick those up and read them anytime.

One book that I'd want a desert island: Lord of the Rings series... I have never read this... and aspire to. But, I have a feeling the only way you are going to get me to read that monster if it was on a desert island. It seems daunting.

One book that made me laugh: A Prayer for Owen Meany by John Irving. Its my current read and I have laughed out loud on a plane while reading it. You know that is a good book if I am willing to embarrass myself for it.

One book that made me cry: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows... because it was sad, but also because it was the last. But, A Prayer for Owen Meany has also made me cry. You should read it... its my dad's favorite and I am beginning to see why.

One book that scared the he** out of me: The Shining by Stephen King. I never finished it. My friend in HS thought I would like it. Ummm, not so much. Scared me too much. I would be in my house with my parents and still be terrified. I like to sleep too much to read crap like that.

One book I wish had been written: umm... so many because I just wish I was a good writer... but Harry Potter, Blue Like Jazz, Girl Meets God (or something like that).

One book I wish had never been written: The Shining. I'm still having nightmares. Any sequel not written by the original author. Cheap, I tell you. Cheap. Get your own ideas!

One book I'm currently reading: A Prayer for Owen Meany by John Irving

One book you've been meaning to read: Way too many... almost anything on my bookshelf in my room... Pride and Prejudice is probably next. Then, Chronicles of Narnia, maybe? There's a lot. I'm also open to suggestions.

Your turn. Any good books you'd recommend? Make your own list!

Countdown

Ten Things You Want To Say To Ten Different People:

1. My name is JAYE... not JAYNE... do you think I would honestly misspell my own name?
2. You're cookies are fine. Just eat them and stop complaining.
3. Get over yourself... you aren't that important
4. Stop hanging with the boys. It makes you look desparate.
5. You really hurt me when...
6. Numbers aren't that important.
7. Stop nagging me! I am an adult you know
8. Just do as I say.
9. He's not worht your time. Break up with him already.
10. I love you.

Nine Things About Yourself:
1. I am a Christian
2. I'm a daughter
3. I LOVE Chick-fila and Papa John's. You won't ever have to convince me to eat there.
4. I really like driving by myself for a long time.
5. I'm constantly day dreaming. Anyone want to bring me down to reality?
6. I hate running... won't do it, don't make me try
7. I don't really do silence. I don't know why. Maybe I am afraid of it?
8. I really like dramas... they pull me in very quickly.
9. I wish I could sing and dance and act... i would love to perform.

Eight Ways To Win My Heart:
1. Give me a compliment
2. Put me at ease in your presence
3. Be a strong, walking Christian
4. Leave your ego at the door
5. Accept my stubbornness... but know if I respect you, I am more likely to give in.
6. Be open minded and love all
7. Don't judge others... you don't know what it is like to be them.
8. Watch Michigan football with me. ;-)

Seven Things That Cross Your Mind A Lot:
1. Concentrate.
2. Will I....
3. When's my next day off?
4. What else can I cross of my to do list?
5. Are you serious?
6. I'm hungry... no you're not... you're bored.
7. Why does my head hurt?

Six Things You Wish You Never Did:
1. There are a couple of friends from High School that I wish I hadn't cared about so much... they weren't good friends
2. Being so selfish... why do I always turn the conversation to me?
3. Called my Grosspapa one more time
4. Used my credit card as much as I did last fall...
5. Eaten White chocolate... talk about NASTY
6. Lose touch with people... so many people I want to email, but is it too late?

Five Turn Offs:
1. Arrogance... you aren't as cool as you think you are
2. someone who needs mothering... ask me for an explanation if you are confused
3. being co-dependent
4. being desparate
5. being akward

Four Turn Ons:
1. personality
2. making me comfortable in your presence
3. loving Christ and loving others as He did
4. Confidence in himself (but not arrogant)

Three Smileys That Describe Your Life:
1. ;)
2. :D
3. :P

Two Things You Want To Do Before You Die:
1. Know what it feels like to be a wife, a mom
2. Sky Dive

One Confession:
1. When I put the silveware in the dishwasher, it needs to be evenly distributed out amongst spots.